Ten Years

Aside from the just plain horror of the story of the three kidnapped girls who are now free, it got me thinking...

Ten years.

SO much can happen in ten years and they've missed it all.

Ten years ago my kids were 18, 15, 13, 10, and 5.
Today, they are obviously ten years older than that.

Ten years ago my dad was still alive.
Today he's been gone for  8 years.

Ten years ago my house was still "new".
Today it could use a good cleaning.

Ten years ago my mother-in-law still lived in her own home.
Today it seems like she's lived in a nursing home for so long.

Ten years ago I had kids in preschool, grade school, junior high and high school. 
 Today I have one kid at home and she is going into  high school.

Ten years ago our family get togethers were mostly kids and there were three of the original Fab Four couples with us in-betweeners  filling in the rest.
Today those kids have so many kids and we have said goodbye to all of the men in our family above the age of 60.

Ten years ago we were going to church in a packed old building and Sunday school classes were all over town.
Today we have been in our beautiful new church for enough time to feel like we've always been there and there is room for more.

Ten years ago I was 39.
Today I am not.

Just think about all the changes in your life over the last ten years and realize how grateful we can be to have been a part of every one of the changes, whether happy or sad.

I pray the three girls whose lives were stolen from them will begin to heal and that the next many years of their lives will be full of wonderful memories.

Oh, Hello There. I'm Still Here.

It has been almost 2 months since I wrote anything on this blog.  Even so, I am amazed that there are still people reading something on here almost every day.  I  don't really have anything in my head right now that I need to get out but I thought I would transfer a note from facebook to here today since I forgot I had written it until today.  Hope it means something to you.

Touching Heaven, Changing Earth

by Linda Mickelson Polson (Notes) on Saturday, September 5, 2009 at 8:25pm

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Those are the words of a song we are going to sing at our church during worship tomorrow morning. We've sung it many times over the past several years. I think it means more to me now than ever. No, I haven't gotten another life altering diagnosis. But I've been thinking a lot today.

This afternoon I watched part of Greg Laurie's (pastor of Harvest Fellowship in CA) 2009 Harvest Crusade. My heart was so touched at watching hundreds of people come forward after hearing the gospel and responding to it by placing their faith in Jesus Christ. I even cried.

As I was sitting there getting all choked up it reminded me of my dad. He always used to get teary eyed when watching something wholesome on tv or listening to a great gospel message. It occurred to me that back when I was younger, and even not so much younger, it kind of made me uncomfortable to see my dad get so emotional about the gospel. Admittedly, there were times when I was feeling the same way he was but I realize now so much more what he was feeling back then.

My dad is in heaven now and though I miss him being a part of my earthly life I am thrilled for him to be at Jesus' side healthy and whole. Since his death, I was diagnosed with a very deadly cancer and was not given much hope at the outset that I would survive it. I did, but it gave me a new outlook on dying and heaven and how much I want to know that my family and friends will be there with me.

This past year I've been leading a Bible study on Heaven, a book written by Randy Alcorn. I've also sung at more funerals in the past year than I think I have previously in all of my life. Now, you might be thinking, 'she is just becoming middle aged and thinking about her own mortality'. You would be right about that in one sense. But deep down I'm starting to understand my dad's urgency to have all of his loved ones near him for all of eternity.

Two weeks ago at our church we watched a video of a young man preaching to those who are "church people" who are going to hell because they never truly repented and turned away from sin. Not just big sin like murder and adultery but whatever little pet sins we have like something as simple as tolerating filth in movies and television. My dad had firm opinions about that as well. If one "bad"word was said the show was turned off. I used to be embarrassed by that to some degree.

But as I have struggled to mature in my faith the past several years I'm seeing a change in my heart. I guess it is spiritual maturity although I have a LONG LONG way to go. The more I get to know Jesus the more things that hurt Him hurt me. And so, the more I see the world spinning out of control and what I believe is closer to Christ's return, the more I feel an urgency to KNOW, really KNOW that my loved ones will all get to share in that glorious Heaven with me. And it is SO much more than I ever dreamed it would be. I told my Bible study group that as a kid, who lost a young friend to death, I thought Heaven would be nice because at Dairy Queen you would never have to pay for ice cream.

Studying about Heaven (and it is mentioned ALL throughout the Bible, not just in Revelation) I'm seeing Heaven everywhere. I'm hearing it in every new song I listen to and seeing it in books I read.

Life here is so short and eternity is FOREVER. Please take a hard look at your life and make sure that you have made things right with God. He made them right with you through Jesus and all you have to do is decide to take it. Not because I did or my dad did. But because you need it just like everyone else who has ever lived.

Love you! 

The Molasses is Moving Pretty Slowly

This week has been the second in a row that I have been a virtual single parent and to be honest it has been wearing on me.  I'm tired of answering all of the questions and being the only one being loved on by my one at home.  That sounds awful but, trust me, it is valid.

Also, I am tired because I have trouble getting to sleep as a normal way of life but when I am here alone, it is worse.  I know that I am NOT alone.  One thing that keeps me going is this verse written on my bedroom wall which I can read when I am lying there alone.

But something about knowing you are the only one responsible for the safety of your lives and home is a little daunting.  My dog does go into "super security mode" when I am here alone.  She barks more and she does perimeter checks regularly which she doesn't always do when there is someone else here with me.

Probably the worst part of my being home alone this week has been my absolute lack of desire to do anything.  No motivation,  folks.

But today with the homecoming of my husband at hand I feel a little more ambitious.  The sad thing is that this lack of motivation has been ongoing for a few months now.

Usually before my kids go back to school after Christmas break I've gotten the old Christmas pictures down and the new ones up.  

Guess what I did TODAY?

Is there a phrase that means LESS motivated than "slower than molasses?

Hi Mom

Sometimes a blog is just the thing you need to show off for your mom.  My mom lives about 550 miles away from me so she doesn't get to see the things that she has given me displayed in my home very often.  

She gave my sister and I a cute "country home" sign for Christmas and I wanted to show her how it looks in my living room.

Amazing how the lettering is the exact same color as my walls!

It balances my "wall of stuff" pretty nicely, I think.

These little bunnies are something I found at Target last week and they are just too cute.

They really put me in a springy, Easter mood.

Thanks, Mom, for teaching me to appreciate pretty things but to keep them in proper perspective!

Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous

Today I am preparing to go the big city to spend the night and then take my older daughter to the airport EARLY tomorrow morning.  She's going to the East coast to work with her aunt at a quilt show.

My other daughter is under the mistaken conviction that I am going away to have a vacation without her.  I guess I am if it is a vacation to spend the night on a strange, uncomfortable bed, probably not sleep very well and get up at about 4 a.m. to make sure we are at the airport by 5, then drive the 2 1/2 hours back home.  

But I am happy to do it.  I love spending time with my kids individually.  Even if it is just in little drips and drabs.  

But please, don't by any stretch of the imagination believe that I am on a luxurious respite.  

That is what I will be doing tomorrow afternoon and all day Saturday at HOME.

A Good Movie and Also, Profanity

Over the weekend our little family of four that was here went to see a movie we have been waiting to go see for months.  It has been out for months but we wanted to see it in our recently renovated, beautiful, local theater TOGETHER.  

It was the last week it was showing here and our 20 year old was home for the weekend so we went on Friday night.  

We saw "Lincoln" and it was very good.  It focuses mostly on the fight to get the 13th Amendment to the Constitution  passed to assure that slaves would be freed forever.  The  cinematography is gorgeous, the costumes are so perfect and the make up was so real.  I felt like I was actually watching my beloved Lincoln and not Daniel Day Lewis.  The men all looked like they hadn't washed their hair for weeks and the beards and sideburns were fantastically realistic.

The story only focused on that main theme and even handled Lincoln's death in a way that was unexpected but was a nice change from seeing it reenacted once again.

It is rated PG-13 which I assumed was for the battle scenes which were not that many, but, graphic nonetheless.  But then they threw in about 2 or 3 uses of profanity that were seemingly out of context for the period.  My 20 year old even leaned over to me during the movie and said something like "I didn't think they even used that word back then."  

I've been wanting to write a blog about profanity for some time but it never really presented itself as a fun topic for blogging.  

But this opens the door.

Is it just me or has profanity become so much more acceptable and common than it was when I was a kid?  And I didn't exactly grow up in the 1940s.  No I did not.

I honestly don't think I heard ANYONE use profanity in public as a child.  If I did I don't remember it.  And sure, some of the boys in the upper grade school years probably used some around me but, hello--junior high boys.  But not adults.

It wasn't until I was in high school that people that I associated with used profanity and even then they had respect for me and tried not to use it around me or apologized when they did.  And then I had some high school teachers who used it in the classroom which I found so hard to respect.  

Yes, I grew up in a Christian home where we didn't even say gosh or darn.  So I was pretty sheltered.  But isn't that a beautiful thing?  

People used to have some respect for women, if nothing else, and would filter their language when necessary.  I can remember sitting near one of my children's classmates parents at a ballgame when my youngest was little and having to move because the filth coming out of his mouth was so offensive to me.  In public.  

No wonder that in today's movies, television, and just everyday life (as well as online social media) we cannot help but be surrounded by profanity.  It doesn't progress the story in a wonderful way in movies and it doesn't progress us as humans in a cultured society.  

But I guess I'm just an old fashioned prude.

I'm Praying For You, Kids

I woke up this morning with my kids on my mind and on my heart.  And feeling a little guilt about how I don't pray enough for them or didn't when they were little.  But I DO pray for them and I DID pray for them back then.  It just feels like I fall so short.   

It used to be prayers of survival. 

 "Please, Lord, let him get through this phase of not wanting to go outside without covering his head with his hand and fearing something unknown to him or me."

 "Please, please, Jesus let him sleep and stop crying and not be so clingy."  

"Dear Jesus, please don't let him learn bad habits from all the friends he's going to make."  

"Dear God, please let her be a better woman than me and learn to love You and trust in You.  And please let her learn how to talk to people better than I do."

"Oh, Jesus, show me how to mother a child who has so many needs when I don't have the ways to fill them."

Prayers of desperation, then prayers of desire for their characters to be formed in God's image, and then more prayers of desperation to get them through the teenage years.  Now I'm praying for their futures with more fervor than I think I ever did when they were young.

When my first two were quite little I used to give concerts from time to time.  Not big concerts, but concerts at churches and events.  One of the songs that I used to sing often was a prayer for my little guys' futures.  I had no idea at that time that in the future I would have 5 Someones to pray for one day.  

This morning I woke up thinking about this song because I'm praying more now that my "kids" are older.  I have more time and it is more important than ever that I pray for them.  They live in an evil world and I so want them to first of all to live in it but not of it and to love and serve Christ.  

But on my heart, also, is that they have someone very dear to share their lives with who loves Jesus more than they love my child.  

I want the words that I used to sing when they were little to be more true than ever now.


And I want them to hold on to Jesus for all the parents "out there" that have prayed for them all these years.